Do you ever have the urge to just go to a top of hill and scream as loud as you can for 10 secounds and let it all out? Well I could do that this very moment but 10 secounds wouldn't be long enough for me.
How do you single parents keep your head up all the time? I try and most of the time I suceed but here lately, I havn't. I fell like I am slowly starting to crumble. I have seen a side of myself that I am not happy with. I am like a monster, even if I try to put a smile on my face, you totally see that it is fake. My poor boyfriend doesn't know what to think, and I don't know what to think because it's not me.
I know it is from my 1.5 hrs of sleep that I had on Monday and Wednesday after working all night, but when my lil' princess gets up, I have to get up and we are going to have a fun filled day even if I havn't had enough sleep. I have to do this to get in a routine to help me stay up when I start school in Aug, and I am afraid this isn't going to go over well.
I am stressed just thinking about it, it is my dream to go back to school and get my RN, so I can have my dream job and better stability for my daughter and me. But I find myself asking is it worth it, because I don't like this monster side of me and no one else does either. I knew I would be irritable, but I didn't think I would be this bad.
So I find myself asking if this is going to be worth it and I would say yes, but seeing this side of myself it's not. Then I have been told never just settle and i fill like if I don't do this I am just settling, I may never have the opportunity to go back to school. But I'm not in debt now and I will be when I go to school. But if I wasn't going to school, I would buy a house because I hate paying money on rent, so I would be in debt once again.
Is anyone else in the same situation and how do you deal, and what should I do. I would love to her some advice or at least know I am not the only one feeling this way.
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